Our first submission for First Impressions this month comes to us from Melissa Guthrie. OHIO, 1863 is Young Adult Historical Fiction.
July 4th, 1863
I think you have some great details in here - the permanently attached mug, the biscuits suited as doorstops, etc. I'd like to see those details blended into the scene to show a clearer picture of what's going on.
Link is bent over a piece of poplar wood. He has sawdust in his hair and stained feet. I'm not sure why though. What is he doing with the wood? Is he busying himself to avoid looking at Henry or something else?
Henry got drunk and lost his clothes the night before. How? Did he and Link spend the night together or was it something else? Based on the way he describes Link, I think it's the first, but I'm not sure.
Henry wakes up in a bed. Is it his bed or Link's? Or someone else's? Is it a nice house in the city or a wooden cabin in a rural area?
You have a great start here. I think if you use your details to focus in on the action, everything will become much clearer. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us!
Make sure to head over to both Mainewords and Dianne's blog to see what they thought of OHIO, 1863. You can find Melissa on Twitter as @MelissWritesNow.