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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Legasea

As part of The Writer's Voice competition, I am posting my query for Legasea, as well as the first 250 words of the manuscript.

Legasea
YA Mystery
67,000 words


Query:

When sixteen-year-old Aileen Shay sees a dead girl floating in the bay during a midnight yacht party, she never imagines her new boyfriend may be involved.

The only thing Aileen knows about Jamie Flannigan is that he personifies the one thing she has been drawn to her entire life – the ocean. But as she grows closer to him, she realizes he knows more about the murder than he's telling. He hides the fact that the girl in the bay was his cousin. And when the Flannigans refuse to cooperate with the police, then keep a vicious attack on Jamie's sister a secret, Aileen searches for answers with her childhood crush, Ian Glenn.

Aileen learns that Jamie's family belongs more to myths and legends than they do in the real world. They are selkies, and after they kidnap Aileen and threaten her family, Aileen suspects the Flannigans are responsible for all of the attacks.

But they aren't the only ones keeping secrets. Ian's father as well as Aileen's own grandmother have connections to the attacks. As Aileen uncovers the truth about the murder, the selkies, and her own family, she learns why her soul is bonded to the sea. But with that revelation comes a choice – to permanently sever her connection with the water, which comes at a painful cost, or embrace a legacy that just might get her killed.

First 250:

The moment I stepped onto the boat, I was breaking my mom's number one rule: Never go into the water without parental supervision. But that rule was old, ancient. Would one tiny crack even be noticed?

And more importantly, could a party on a 100 foot yacht be considered breaking the rule? It was more like a party on a private island. Safe as houses, my grandma would say.

Ian stood on the deck with his arm stretched out to me. Mae dug her sharp elbow into my ribs, nudging me toward him. “Come on, Aye. No one's gonna see you out there.”

It was true. The water was black and calm, no light for miles. No one was around to spot me. No one would tell my mom. Even the moon complied by sliding behind a dark cloud.

I still didn't move.

As if sensing my reluctance, the water decided to play devil's advocate. The gentle waves rocked the boat up and down, the motion beckoning me, pleading with me to step off the dock.

“Aileen?” Mae jiggled my arm.

“What? Oh.” While I stood there being the indecisive queen of the world, everyone else had climbed on board. Kids were plunking drinks into coolers, seeking out private places to...ya know, and untying the ropes so they could cast off.

Mae would never let the party leave without her. Thirty more seconds and she would get everyone to join in a rousing chorus of “Come on, Eileen,” a song she'd learned from my dad.


*To see more of my writing, check out the short story blog I share with two other authors: http://fictionfemmefatale.blogspot.com/ We take submissions.*

52 comments:

daniellelapaglia said...

Good luck! #RebelLove

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! You too!

Sarah said...

Yay for mysteries! This sounds great. Good luck!

-Sarah #146

Matthew MacNish said...

Hi Krystey, I'm stopping by from the Writer's Voice Contest to wish you the best of luck!

Matthew Lee Adams said...

Best of luck!

And the ending brought 80's flashback with the song reference :) Although apparently Sugarland and Sara Bareilles have done a cover...

Although I doubt they'll ever go so far as to wear the Oshkosh overalls (often worn in the 80's with one strap hanging down for some reason I never discerned).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NkgXSfWj8

There were many 80s fashions that would have been just as well never to have been seen.

Kelly Metz said...

Good luck Krystey! I like the way the query turned out!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! Yours sounds fun too. Good luck!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks for your help!

KrysteyBelle said...

He he. I gotta sneak the 80's in there somewhere. =)

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I appreciate the support!

T. James said...

Best of luck with your entry Krystey. The 80's were great: shoulder pads, awesomely big hair, Dallas and Dynasty, Airwolf and the A-Team. You gotta love it! :)

KrysteyBelle said...

LOL I have to say, I never wore the big shoulder pads. My shoulders were too small, and the pads ended up somewhere around my biceps. I will admit to the big hair. =)

Becca C. said...

The entry looks great! Love the Irish flavor. Good luck in the contest!

Amy Parker said...

Good luck, Krystey! The story is still good, no matter how many times I read it! Good luck!

SC Author said...

The title of your book made me laugh! (I love puns.) Also, my own manuscript being set underwater, I love the sea, and I feel so bad for Aileen that she might have to wrench herself away from it. Nice job, and good luck!

SC (#159)

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I love that you picked up on that. Aileen's grandparents are actually from Ireland.

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. =) How do you like the new query?

KrysteyBelle said...

He he. The title makes me smile too. Having grown up near the ocean, I have a bit of a tie to it myself.

April Wall said...

Good luck!

aberthot said...

Great opening in your query! I am intrigued!

Andrea #32

Sarah Wedgbrow said...

This is really intriguing, and the query is really straightforward. Best of luck!

Marieke said...

This sounds delightfully creepy. Good luck!

Stefanie Jones said...

Krys, this sounds so cool! It's definitely unique, and is something I'd love to read! GOOD LUCK!!!

Amy Parker said...

I like it! I think it sums it up well and is intriguing! Good job:)

Carrie Butler said...

Love the title! :) Good luck!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I think my file for that query is about six pages long. Glad to know I at least got the opening right. :)

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

KrysteyBelle said...

He he. Magic. Murder. All sorts of wonderful things!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks, Stef. If you ever do want to read it, just shoot me an email.

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I think this is my favorite title of anything I've written.

Ashley Maker said...

Ohh, I don't see a lot of YA mysteries! Cool premise, and I love the title, too! Best of luck :-)

Ashley #78

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the compliments!

Falcata Times said...

Nicely done Krysteybelle, always great to see how others put thier submissions together.

Nicole Zoltack said...

Oh, sounds good! Good luck!

~Nicole, entry 68

Suzi said...

Lots of mysteries to uncover. Intriguing.

Good luck.

the type writer said...

your writing is lovely. best of luck to you!

G. Donald Cribbs said...

Great premise and love the MC's voice. I'd love to read more. Great entry! Good luck.

Thank you for your comment on my entry #142, THE PACKING HOUSE.

Jani said...

This sounds intriguing. Good luck!

Carolyn Abiad said...

Best of luck!
Carolyn, #157

Brandi M. Lynch said...

Like your first page! I felt almost anxious waiting on her to make up her mind.

Good luck!

Brandi #199

Leslie said...

I like the first 250! My students (I teach 8th grade) are always asking me for mysteries. We need more of them! Good luck.

Leslie #116

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks for reading!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks!

KrysteyBelle said...

That's the idea. =) Glad you liked it!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks for stopping by!

KrysteyBelle said...

Thanks. Aileen definitely has a lot in store for her.

KrysteyBelle said...

Thank you so much!

KrysteyBelle said...

You're welcome. I tried to cover as many as I could. Thanks for reading!

Miriam Forster said...

I love selkies. :)

Just stopped by from Dianne's blog to say congrats on being blitzed!

VikLit said...

I am intrigued! I wish you luck with this novel ;)

Actually found you through the 'tall tales' blog - I followed the links to a few people who entered the competition, as I am newly blogging, seeking to make connections with other YA writers! I have followed you ;)

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